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“To be, or not to be, that is the Question: Whether ’tis Nobler in the minde to suffer the slings and arrowes of outragious Fortune, Or to take armes against a Sea of troubles…”
At this point you’re asking yourself what in the world William Shakespeare has to do with Bingo – what relevance could it bear? Well, let me break it down for you. And no, the relevance in this case is not the fact that the majority of Bingo players are as old as the hills; and Shakespeare couldn’t have been that much older than them – it’s deeper than that.

Firstly, what was Shakespeare talking about in that soliloquy of his; that lingo is a bit too hi-tech for this day and age? Ok, I’m going to decipher Sir William’s words so you won’t have to go to a Bingo hall and risk getting a thorough breakdown from his excellence – the Bingo champ. What Shakespeare meant is basically this: More money more problems – is it worth it? Stay poor and you’re in it (you know what) – is that worth it?

Yes, it is as simple as that. He asked two questions which in fact, are one. But being Shakespeare, he just had to confuse us non-Bingo playing; out-dated kids right? Wrong! Shakespeare just asked a question for which there is no answer for…just choices. And as far as I know, choice is the one thing that paves our very existence; I choose to believe that. A person’s choice is the only thing that he/she truly owns. The only choice that we’ll never really have is the one that blonde Eve made for all of us; the choice that could be directly linked to why there is a card game called Bingo – she doomed the world and everything in it to a life of gambling, Shakespearean language and things that generally confuse our minds by leaving us with unanswered questions. But apart from Eve hallucinating about talking snakes and making dumb decisions, we can be glad that we have 100% control over the choices we make. So this means that even when a kid who would rather not eat his veggies, but does anyway because his mother will beat the daylights out of him if he doesn’t do as told…even he has a choice, and in this instance he chose fear (or was it obedience?) Make your own choice.

Now that we’ve established the power of choice, I hope you can forgive your grandmother for always using her social grant cheques to play Bingo; it’s her choice isn’t it? 50 Cents, a rapper from New York; his debut album was titled Get Rich or Die Trying. On the other hand, Notorious BIG (also a rapper from New York) was gunned down after not having heeded his very own words – More money. More problems. So which is which here? Because as much as your great-grandmother spends her cheques on Bingo, she is only trying to get rich like 50 cents put it.

So as much as one can be mad because their grandmother’s Bingo sprees comes back to haunt them, or little Johnny rather; because as soon as her cheque is done for, she pays little Johnny’s piggy bank a visit. And then there are the nights when she just disappears and leaves you worried that she might be sleepwalking again, when in fact, she’s sitting in a Bingo hall; just dying to get the opportunity to scream “Bingo!” Yes, these things might frustrate you; you might not see the point – but are you going to choose frustration from the many emotions – do you ever think that maybe she knows she doesn’t have to go there because you’re loaded and will support her, but she does anyway because she wants you to die from a stress-related heart attack so that she will inherit your money and play bingo until she dies from the shock of finally winning…has that ever crossed your mind, or are you busy being frustrated?

All I’m saying is old people also want to have a little fun; it’s not their fault that we can’t all sit in a garden and eat fruit the whole day; they’re not the ones who went and took advices from snakes. If you’re desperately trying box your grandmother in, buy her a computer so she can play online bingo or something.

I reckon we should all just play Bingo and stop stressing about stuff that doesn’t even matter. And please do yourself a favour; stop taking life so seriously – no one is getting out alive anyway (no thanks to you know who).